Adishree Nayak

i am sad. 
i don’t know if it’s real 
they say it’s not. 
it’s hormones they say 
because what other reason would exist 
for a girl like me 
to wish a wish to not 
exist.

 

i don’t know if it’s real 
i tell myself it’s not.
it’s attention i say. 
overreacting and annoying. 

 

i don’t know if it’s real 
they say it’s not 

it’s school they say, classes, college 
because what other reason would exist 
for a girl like me 
to wish a wish to not 
exist. 

 

i don’t know if it’s real 
i tell myself it’s not. 
but i think it is. 
i think it’s real. 

 

as real as 
the tears shed into dim light, 
the gut-wrenching, hair-pulling, near-vomit sobs, 
the silent screams spilled into the pillow, 
the shaking body rocking back and forth 
reassuring myself that it’ll be okay, 
the bed that seems to grasp me every morning and night, 
the breathlessness; 
i think it’s real that 
i am sad. 

 

Your sadness is legitimate and valid, no matter how much money you make, where you live, and who you are. But please don’t let that stop you from reaching out for help. Share your feelings and your thoughts with someone because it will help you heal. And you never know, it may help someone else too. ❤️
 

© 2019 by MannMukti